Monday, October 31, 2022

Dear Lainey, today you're 2

I normally write these letters the night BEFORE your birthday....but last night, I was too emotional to conjure up words to express how much I love you, Lainey Rose.  

As I was rocking you to sleep last night you let me sing you "the song."  While you're quite demanding with your night night songs (usually a mix between row row & twinkle twinkle), you must've sensed I needed to sing "the song," because you didn't once stop me. Trust me, that's unusual for you. 

The song I've sang more times than I can count.  The song I danced to at my wedding with your Grandma.  The song I've been singing you girls to sleep with for 8 years and counting.  

The Best Day. The song is written from a daughter's perspective on growing up, a song she wrote for HER mom. 

"There is a video I found from back when I was 3.  You set up a paint set in the kitchen and you're talking to me. It's the age of princesses and pirate ships & the seven seas....  Daddy's smart and you're the prettiest lady in the whole wide world."

"Now I know why, all the trees change in the fall.  I know you were on my side, even when I was wrong.  And I love you, for giving me your eyes.  Standing back and watching me shine.  I didn't know if you knew....but I'm taking this chance to say, I had the best day....with" 

As I sang the words, I thought about how fast you're growing up. How fast the past 2 years have gone.  I thought about your giggles, your sweet voice, your head strong spirit, your grin, your sweet little pigtails. 

I thought about everything YOU ARE.  My last baby.  My bookend on her last night being ONE.  And I cried....

I PRAY that when you grow up, you look back on these years & see those same videos and feel how LOVED you are. 

It's a strange dichotomy, being a mom. You love seeing your baby grow up, learn to eat, learn to walk, learn to run. But your heart literally aches at the same time.  

I swear you came out smiling, Lainey Rose.  Everyone that meets you instantly falls in love with your coyness, your silly spirit, your big blue eyes.

But out of everyone in the world, your sisters are your favorite people, your BEST friends.  When you walk into a room, you're looking for Lara & Sadie before anyone else and I hope it always stays that way. 

Your big sisters love you more than anything in the world, even though you boss them around day in, day out.  You demand they play with you by reaching out your hand saying, "PAY." While you love watching Bernard or Blippi, you also demand someone sits by you, patting the couch and yelling "SIT" to whoever's walking by.  

Spoiler. we all sit. You run this house & you know it.

Everyday you're saying new things & while most of the time I use Lara as your interpreter, I'm getting better at deciphering the Lainey Rose dialect. We'll say, "Lainey, come here," and if you're in the mood to join, you'll say, "Ooootay." 

At night, you demand a pretty regimented process and secretly, I love it.  Once your jammies are on, you'll say "Rock you," which means sit your butt down and rock me NOW. You ask for your washies over and over again until you have at least 3, then a few minutes later, you want in your bed. We kiss your plump little cheeks, lay you down, you roll over and get tucked in with your blanket or as you call it, "banket."

Then, in the sweetest little voice you start saying, "Lovesssss you." 

Over and over and over again, long after we've closed your door. In fact, some nights you'll yell it at us thru the door until you get a response. 

The ending to yet another "best day" with our Lainey Rose. 

My sweet baby, I hope you always know how much we 'lovesssss YOU.'


Mom & Dad