Wednesday, August 15, 2018

Dear Lara, today you're 4.

Today, you're 4.

I can hardly believe it.  I realize every mom says that...but honestly, I can't. You're turning into a beautiful soul right before my eyes. 

To be transparent, this past year has had it's challenges. But that's to be expected with three, right? I was told that a million times, but I didn't believe it. 

I brushed off all those moms who came before me, telling myself they had it all wrong.  That all the tantrums, emotions and epic meltdowns would end the moment you transitioned from 2 to 3. 

Well, I was wrong.  But, like most things in motherhood, aren't we always?  We live and learn everyday, all the while our little ones steadfastly, blindly loving us while we navigate this whole motherhood gig. 

And you, my daughter, are no different. I remember when you were a baby, trying to get you to smile for pictures.  You stared me down with this solemn look on your face, rarely smiling and never when I asked, of course. It drove me crazy!  I remember being concerned, wondering how I'd raise this quiet, serious spirit of a child...

Each year that passes, I embrace & adore every ounce of the little lady you are. 

You are analytical, always nervous in new places and situations. You sit back, typically clinging to my leg, taking it all in. It used to be hard for me to watch you be fearful of new things, but I've grown to admire that about you.  

You are very different from I, very quiet and shy until you feel comfortable with the new people around you. As you grow into a young woman, I know this trait will protect your heart. You've taught me so much in your short, 4 years of life. You've taught me patience, Lord have you taught me patience. You've taught me to forgive.  But most of all, you've taught me a love I never knew before you.

I remember the moment you were born as if it was yesterday. I can still smell your sweet, soft skin as your daddy held you up to my lips so I could kiss your tiny, little face. You were stubborn from the start, breech and not budging, so a c-section it was. I laugh about it now, because this scheduled, planned labor was exactly how you would've wanted it. 

You like plans. You like routine. You like to always know what's coming.  

You also LOVE shoes, especially mine.  You have mastered the art of walking in heels, heels that are 10 sizes too big, mind you.

And makeup. And purses, oh do you love purses.  

Everywhere we go, you ensure you have a matching purse filled to the brim with your horsey bracelet, pretend credit card and teal Moana flip phone.  And your sunglasses, the hot pink sunglasses. Those are never, ever left behind. 

What can I say, you love your accessories. I have no idea where you get that from. #guilty

Watching you become a big sister has been my biggest joy.  You are gentle with her, even when she is screaming because she wants the baby doll that YOU have.  Not one of 800 baby dolls sitting right next to her. 

You are wise beyond your years, understanding that she wants what you have because she adores you. She looks up to you and everything you are.  And why wouldn't she?  

You, my little love, have a heart of gold. 

As you grow up, I hope you always...always remember, that everyday I get to spend with you is "The Best Day"  of my life.