Friday, December 1, 2017

A note to my Sadie June on her FIRST Birthday.

It seems like just yesterday your Dad and I were strolling the aisles of CVS, trying to kill time and calm nerves before heading to the hospital for my induction to have YOU.  It was November 30th, your due date.

We planned an evening at the Plaza full of wonderful food and a "stroll" thru the lights.  I'm not sure why I thought I was capable of "strolling" at this point in my pregnancy with you.  Hell, I had contemplated getting one of those motorized chairs the last few weeks of my pregnancy.

Since my pre planned stroll was most definitely not happening, CVS sounded like a good pit stop instead.  Dad stocked up on Oreos.  Me, well I picked myself up some chapstick.

That super soft, Baby Lips stuff Maybelline makes. Man, I loved that chapstick until your big sister pulled it out of the tube and smashed it a few days after you were born.

You have been the calm in our crazy this past year. 

You are so, so easy going unless someone tries to pry a toy of your liking from your fierce death grip you seem to have.  Unfortunately, your sister has attempted to do just that quite a few times over the past year.  But you, Sadie June, hold your own.  And I totally dig that about you. 

At the same time, you let her tackle you and tickle you endlessly.  The sound of you girls giggling is literally the best sound I've ever heard.

 I find myself fiercely protecting you due to your sweet demeanor, but then I witness one of your mini temper tantrums and realize you'll have no problem protecting yourself. 

I laugh at the fear I felt when learning you were a girl.  I thought it not possible to love another girl, but dang, I was so wrong. I love you endlessly.  You were everything I didn't know I needed. 

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You have brought so much joy to our lives, with those dimples and those two wittle teeth now poking thru your bottom gums. There is literally nothing cuter than your sweet little grin.

I thought your big sister would not adjust well to sharing her world with you, but quite the contrary.  Much to our surprise, she loves you more than she loves us! 

She calls you her chicken nugget. In fact, last week she sang happy birthday to you....instead of using your actual name, she plugged in the words, "happy birthday my chicken nugget," and I thought my heart was going to explode.

You are crazy about your dad, hell both of you girls are.... 

But Sadie June, really love your mommy and you're not afraid to show it.  You scream bloody murder when I take one step out of your eyesight. 

But listen here, I'll take every last ounce of the love you have for me, because someday you'll run out the front door hollering bye to me as you hop in the car with a boy.

Your first love, perhaps. 

And my heart will ache out of fear knowing that no one will possibly take care of you the way I have.  It will feel as if my own heart has just skipped out the front door.  Someday, when you're a mom, you'll realize that your children walking around is like your very own heart walking around outside your chest, out in the great big world.

You girls carry my heart with you every moment of everyday.

When you hurt, I'll hurt deeper.  When you cry, I'll cry harder.  When you're happy, my joy will be even more bountiful. 

So like I said, for now, I'll soak up every last ounce of the love you have for me. I'll take the crocodile tears you shed when I walk out of the room.  Because someday, I won't be able to swoop you up in my arms and kiss your sweet, chunky cheeks coated in wet tears.

In an instant, all is right in your world again. But little did you know, the moment you were born, my precious Sadie June, you made everything right in my world

Happy FIRST Birthday to our precious chicken nugget.