Where do babies fit into my career?

Here we go again, more career talk. 

Hey, if this stuff is boring you, my dog is blogging today over in Sarah's neck of the woods.
And if you're joining us from Floyd's Friends...WELCOME! 
You may be stopping by to get soft, kissable lips.  If so, scroll to the bottom & enter the giveaway.

 

I promised a mini series throughout the month of March & I'm giving you a mini series by God. 

 

If you're burnt out on hearing me talk about my obsession with Sheryl Sandberg & her latest book, Lean In, well it's your lucky day as this is the third & final one I have up my sleeve.

 

Part one asked the inspirational question....."Do you (as a woman) sit at that table in your own career?"

 

Part two discussed "Couples who have more sex."

 

And today, we'll discuss how having babies fit into our career plans.

 

I'm 27....wait, 27 or 28?  Oh yes, 27.  I can never frickin' remember my actual age.

And now that I'm 27, all people want to talk to me about is when I plan to have a baby. 

 

All my ladies out there, can you relate or can you relate? 

It's like women are treated solely as a baby making machine.  We were put on this Earth to reproduce, so we're going to reproduce by God.

 

When I tell people it's not in my immediate plans to get knocked up, they seem really confused.

What.....she's not pregnant yet?  What the hell is wrong with her?  She must not be able to conceive? Maybe she doesn't have ovaries? 

 

Listen friends & family, yes, I absolutely want to be a Mom if God blesses me with the ability to be able to conceive.  But, surprise surprise.

  It's not my top priority as of today, this month., this year.

 

In the magazine article, Sheryl talks about three main success secrets &

number three encourages us not to

"Leave Before We Leave."

 

"The classic scenario unfolds like this:  An ambitious and successful woman heads down a challenging career path with the thought of having children in the back of her mind.  (Once she finds a partner) that thought moves to the front of her mind. The woman considers how hard she is working and reasons that to make room for a child she will have to scale back."

 

This scaling back could include passing on a big project because you know the long hours just won't fit into your future plans to become a Mommy.  It could mean not shooting for partner in your law firm (Casey) because someday you plan to have a baby.  Or for me, being in sales, it could mean not reaching for that next step in my career, that next promotion, because I don't want to take on that sort of challenge as my mind has already drifted to babyville.

 

I have to be 100% honest here.

My mind has drifted to babyville a few times over the past 6 months.  I dream of holidays with a little one, seeing Jon hold 'em in front of the Christmas tree showing the baby the lights.  And then I think of poop.

 

Explosive poop everywhere.  All over my handsome husband and all over my sweet little baby & I immediately change my mind.

 

Kidding.

Well, kind of.

 

But in all seriousness, I think about babies.  And when I think about babies, my mind automatically shifts my career to the backseat.

 

I mean, are we as women programmed to have that mental shift?

 

As Sheryl goes onto discuss, due to our mental preparation for babies, "without even realizing it, women stop reaching for new opportunities. And since women usually start this mental preparation well before trying to conceive, several years often pass between the thought & conception, let alone birth.  By the time the baby arrives, the woman is likely to be in a drastically different place in her career than she would have been has she not leaned back."

 

I don't know if this is true for some of you starting to have those mind drifts to babyville, but this is 100% true for me.  I hate to admit it, but I was that girl. 

 

What happens is we start leaning back, not pushing forward in our careers as our peers may be so by the time the baby comes we are left in the dust. We start to resent the feeling of being "behind" professionally.

 

"When women return to the workplace after their child is born, they are likely to feel less fulfilled, underutilized, or unappreciated.  We may wonder why we are working for someone (often a man) who has less experience than we do."

 

At that point, the road to the top seems so daunting that eventually we throw in the towel.

 

Now, not everyone wants to "make it to the top," run a company or even manage a team.  And that's what makes our world beautiful my friends.  We are all hardwired different than one another.

 

But for me, I love the feeling I get in succeeding in my career.  I love learning & growing (not only personally) but professionally as well.  That's why this book has touched me the way it has.

 

And for those that are reading, if this has struck a cord with you, then

these past few posts were worth my time. 

 

 Now, onto the fun stuff.

 Is anyone else SUPER in love with these adorable balms?
If so, then enter to win!
 I'd love to send 'em your way just in time for some Easter kisses.
 

 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

5.

First & foremost I want to say a BIG BIG Thank You to all the amazing women who have been following along for quite some time.  The kind words you leave as comments always touch my heart!
  I can't thank you enough, so saying thank you 18 times in the first paragraph of a post will have to do.

And hello to all the beautiful new faces around here!

More often than not, people choose to read along & rarely ever say hello.  But today, say hello.  I want to get to know you gals & the only way to do that is to share our
deepest, darkest secrets with one another.

Kidding.

But hey, a good "about me" does the body good.

Am I right or am I right?

In order to not totally bore you with the basics, like do I wipe front to back or back to front, I'm going to follow a fun little outline debuted by Dana awhile back. 
And pefect timing, because I was tagged by this cutie patootie earlier this week to play along as well.

5 Things

You'll find in my purse:
My Business Cards.  Hey, a lady is always prepared.

My makeshift survival kit, inclusive of tampons, a nail file & perfume.

A sweet note my Mom wrote me about 5 or 6 years ago.  Been with me everyday since.

Bobby Pins. Because life is not complete without bobby pins.

About 50 receipts.  No joke.  Hello, my name's Anne & I'm a receipt hoarder. 



You'll find in my bedroom:

 My beloved sound machine.  Waves &  a crackling fire.  Heaven on earth on my nightstand. 

Condoms.  Too personal? Nah.

My mouth guard.  I'm a grinder & I know it.

A cup full of water.  I will NOT go to sleep without a fresh glass of water bedside.

Super fun socks. There's just something about wild socks that just make me feel better.
Bizarre.  I know.

I've always wanted to:

BE ON SURVIVOR!! 

Run my own business & be successful at it.

Be a mom.
Wear a bikini.  I've always been a bit too curvy for them, but hey, maybe one of these days.
Be a morning person.  I suck at mornings & always have. 
God Bless Coffee.


I'm currently loving:

My cowboy.

House Hunters. 

I watch an average of 1-2 episodes PER DAY.  Thank the LORD for DVR.

The rekindling of struggling relationships.

Wine.  Always Wine.

The fact that tomorrow is my FRIDAY because Jon & I are taking the real Friday off work to take a little road trip to see Justin Moore in concert!!!
And, in true Anne fashion, it will all be documented on Instagram of course. 
Follow along @annexenos.

Quirks I have:
I hate underwear.

I take my bra off, wash my face & throw on sweats the MINUTE I get home from work.

I cuss.  Alot. 
Not my proudest attribute. I grew up with 2 older brothers, so I had to learn to talk tough at a young age.
I check out my own rack every morning in the mirror before I get in the shower. 
Since having my reduction last May, I still can't believe their mine. 
I rarely answer phone calls in the evening. 
Being in sales, I have to be super accessible.  So by the end of the day I'm SO tired of hearing my own voice the last thing I want to do is hear it some more.


Linking up with this cutie patootie (Shanna).

Couples who have more sex.

Thank you to all who weighed in on my "Women in the Workplace" post last Friday.  I loved your feedback & most of all, I loved hearing how you all can relate.  I've been tossing around lots of thoughts about my career & where I'm going, hence why this article (and book) struck such a cord with me. And based on your feedback, it sounds like it struck a cord with you all as well.

 

Last week I asked myself if I sat at the table in my own career, or did I sit off to the side, watching my career from afar.  You can read last weeks post here.

 

In the article, Sheryl breaks things down into four of what she calls success secrets.  Today, let's delve into part two, and folks, this one's a doozie:  Make Your Partner a Real Partner.

 

Raise your hand if you've always had the impression that women at the top, women who are CEO's are likely single & without kids?  I mean, how the hell else would they have all that time to dedicate to furthering their career?

 

Well, if your hand is up (like mine), you're wrong.

 

Sheryl believes that choosing your life partner is one of the single most important decisions we'll make not only for ourselves but also our careers.

 

"Of the 28 women who have served as CEOs of Fortune 500 companies, 26 were married, 1 was divorced, and only 1 had never married.  Many of the CEOs said they "could not have succeeded without the support of their husbands, helping with the children, the household chores, and showing a willingness to move."

 

Jon & I have been married for about 2 years now and we still talk about some of the things we learned in premarital counseling.  One thing that resonated with me was that out of the 7 things couples most often argue about, household responsibilities was at the top.  At the time of the course, I had already begun resenting Jon for not helping out more around the house. 

 

I would not only cook dinner, but clean up, do the dishes, along with all the laundry, make the bed every morning, and all the tidying that goes into living with a slob.  Sorry hun, I love you, but you do lay your socks all over the house.  One thing that was suggested was to make a list of who would do what when it came to chores; split it up.  And boy oh boy did that make a difference!

 

"When husbands do more housework, wives are less depressed, marital conflicts decrease, and satisfaction rises."

 

As much as I've complained about Jon's lack of involvement in the housework, he's come a long way in our 5 years together.  And luckily, it appears that our generation of men (20's & 30's) are in fact coming around to the concept of teamwork in the home.

 

"A survey asking participants to rate the importance of various job characteristics found that men in their 40s most frequently selected "work that challenges me" as very important, while men in their 20's and 30's most frequently selected having a job with a schedule that "allows me to spend time with my family."

 

How cool is that!?!  I don't think I've ever mentioned that Jon is the Director of Golf at a gorgeous golf course here in town.  With the weather finally getting nice around these parts, he could play a round of golf everyday when he gets off work, and honestly, I don't mind.

And hey, I also don't mind looking at 'em when he gets home all dressed in his snazzy golf attire. 
But you know what really turns me on? 
Those days he skips the golf to get home to me. 

 

These next couple paragraphs may be controversial to some, but I really believe in what she has to say, so bear with me.

 

"When women work outside the home and share breadwinning duties, couples are more likely to stay together.  In fact, the risk of divorce reduces by about half when a wife earns half the income and a husband does half the housework."

 

Now, I realize some women are called to stay at home & raise their children.  I believe wholeheartedly that the job of being a full time mommy is frickin' HARD.  For some marriages, that works.  Being that we do not have any kiddos yet, I'm not going to delve into this too deep.

 

What I will speak to is my own marriage.  It would drive me crazy if Jon lost his job and didn't get his ass right back out there to find a new one.  Are we somewhat financially sound.  Yes.  However, I believe WHOLE HEARTEDLY in being a team.  I would resent getting up to go to work every morning if Jon wasn't.  Period.

 

I believe in sharing responsibilities & thankfully, Jon does as well.  There are some night that our jobs run late into the evening.  I may not have time to get home, cut up veggies, cook some pasta & put together dinner. And on those nights, I'm extremely thankful I have a husband that will. 

 

And if I'm really lucky, he'll do the dishes as well.  And quite honestly, that's better than porn.

"Couples who share domestic responsibilities have more sex.  It may be counterintuitive, but the best way for a man to make a pass at his wife, might be to do the dishes."

 

Amen, sister.

 

In closing, I'm sure we can all attest to the fact that we as women haven't always made the best decisions when it comes to the guys we've shacked up with over the years.  So, to all my readers that are still fishing thru the sea of wonderful men out there, I've got some advice.  Date the sexy boys, the ones who look good in baseball pants, the ones who enjoy fist pumping at the bar....but DON'T MARRY THEM. 

 

They may be good in bed....but are they going to help you
MAKE THE BED?

 

I'd love for you to weigh in.

 Do you believe having a good partner is
crucial to your career success?

That time Pinterest saved me money.

I can count 8,720,345 times that Pinterest convinced me I was saving money by making things at home versus buying the product outright.  But come to find out, for some reason unbeknownst to me, Hobby Lobby & Michael's actually charge people to buy supplies from them.

 

But now, thanks to this pin, I can officially count the ONE time Pinterest
actually helped me save some money, honey. 

 

 

And it was as easy as one, two, three.

 

 

Squirt some dish detergent & olive oil into a small bowl, then whip out all the makeup brushes you own because turns out, those things are full of nastiness.  I'm beginning to understand why the massive, mountainous zits have set up shop on my frickin' cheek.

 

But zits no more, thanks to bath time for my brushes!

 

And a quick thank you for joining in on the "Women in the Workplace" discussion I started last Friday.  Round two tomorrow!

 

*Linking up with Katie & Steph*

 

The White Dog

Well, folks.  We're one week closer to opening up our own little antique booth and we could NOT be more excited.  What makes it even more exciting?  Finally having a logo.

 

When we first started talking about this new adventure months ago, we both fell in love with the idea of naming the booth something totally eccentric but yet hilarious while also providing a window into who we are as people.  We are both dog lovers & we are especially in love with this little bug.

 

 

And so the name was born.

"The White Dog."

 

 

We were able to get her turned into a cartoon & then several grueling hours full of graphic design
(by two NON graphic designers) later, our logo was born.

 

Next up, the building of the website & putting together an Etsy shop. 
And oh yeah, building our inventory...literally.

 

Needles to say, we are one busy couple these days, but we're loving it so far. 

 Besides that time last weekend when we began bickering & Jon put in his two week notice.

 

Bahahahaha. 

 

With all the non existent free time I've had, I've thrown together a few half assed decorations to try and spring-ify our own home. 

 

 

Is anyone else just DYING for warm weather?!?!?!?! 

 

The other night when it was just barely 30 degrees, I convinced Jon to sit outside on the patio, to...you know, enjoy the excruciatingly cold beautiful weather.

 

Even wrapped up in a massively large furry blanket, I lasted .02 seconds.

 

Come onnnnnnnn, Spring!

 Come out come out wherever you are.

 

 

 

P.S.  Don't forget to hop on over and see Kait & get in on our giveaway!!

 

 

Do you sit at the table?

 

I used to be an AVID Cosmo reader, back in the ‘ol college days when apparently all I thought about was lipstick & sex. Has anyone else been super embarrassed carrying their Cosmo thru the airport or pulling it out of your purse to read on the plane?

 

Well, I don’t know why not? I mean, they’re cover stories are so modest.

You’ve got Kim K with her massive breasts on display, surrounded by cover stories such as "The Sex Move That Brings You Closer," "How to Talk Dirty, " and "Your Best Orgasm."

I haven’t read a Cosmo in years for the reasons I just discussed, but I tell you what ladies, Cosmo just got better. They are rolling out a new feature called Cosmo Careers & it’s fantastic. In April’s edition, nestled between an article on "How to Look Hot" and "The Sexiest Thing You Can Do on a Date" is a teeny little mini mag that talks all things business.

 

The April edition of Cosmo Career takes a fabulous insider look into a new book written by Sheryl Sandberg called, "Lean In." Sheryl is the Chief Operating Officer for Facebook & quite frankly, is a lady I’d love to have as a mentor. I haven’t read the book yet, but you better be damn sure I’m picking it up this weekend. "Lean In" is written in an attempt to urge women to go for it. Go for those big jobs & never, ever settle. It inspired this post, the first one in a four part series I’ll be featuring the next four Fridays. I hope you’ll follow along & give me your feedback because I’m dying to see how you all respond to all that I’m getting ready to say.

Sheryl talks about a situation in which Facebook hosted a meeting for Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner. The invited guests were mostly men however there were four women in attendance as well.

"Our invited guests, mostly men, sat down at the large conference table. Secretary Geithner’s team, all women, took their food last & sat in chairs off to the side of the room. I (Sheryl) motioned for the women to come sit at the table, waving them over publicly so they would feel welcomed. They demurred & remained in their seats. The four women had every right to be at this meeting, but because of their seating choice, they seemed like spectators rather than participants."

How profound is that?

This feature struck a cord with me because as of late, I’ve been pondering a lot about my own career. "Am I where I belong?" "Am I working hard enough?" "Am I learning & growing as a professional as much as I should be?" And the loudest question of all…."Am I becoming a spectator in my own career?"

In reading this article I realized that I’m not the only woman asking myself the age old question. As a woman in the workplace, where do I fit in the male dominated area of upper management?

Sheryl goes on to talk about what a "watershed" moment that was for her.

"It was a moment when I realized that in addition to facing institutional obstacles, women face a battle from within. We consistently underestimate ourselves. Multiple studies in multiple industries show that women often judge their own performance as worse than it actually is, while men judge their own performance as better than it actually is."

Now stop & let that resonate.

I’ve always considered myself a strong, confident woman. Especially in the workplace. I’m extremely proud of where I am in my career at the age of 27, however I rarely show it. In fact, I rarely ever reveal my age in the work environment for fear that my peers will lose respect for me. I work with woman mostly in their 40’s, 50’s & even 60’s. I have carried with me this misconception that if they really knew how young I was, why would they ever respect me? Shit, I could be their daughter & for some, their granddaughter.

This past week when I traveled to Rhode Island for work, I was actually training new associates in my company on how to become an "A-typical Salesperson." I was invited to go thru a certification process a couple years ago & have since coached many teams thru this 3 day course. While out to dinner one evening a few of the ladies were talking about their 26 year old daughters & their lack of maturity. I politely held my tongue & continued sipping (that’s a lie. I never sip. I drink) my wine. After dinner, we went to the hotel restaurant to have one more glass before turning in for the night (let’s get real, I just gave you the classy version of saying night cap). As we sat there talking, they asked me how old I was. I sheepishly tried to dodge the question until one of the ladies said, "Well if you don’t want to tell us, that’s because of your own insecurities." Oh hell no.

I was a little insulted at first, but then realized she was right. Why the hell have I been so insecure to reveal how young I am among my fellow associates? I should be proud not ashamed.


A glass of wine later, I confessed I was 27. The lady looked right at me and said, "Well you are very mature for your age." (If they only knew I once pulled so many fire alarms I ended up getting arrested in the lobby of my sorority house, barefoot & braless)

They later went on to tell me they never would have guessed.

And you know why? Because I have worked very hard to get where I am. I’ve had to grow up quick & even though I’ve wanted to piss my pants at times, due to fear of failure, I put on a diaper and went for it.

After reading this article I realized my outlook has been way wrong. I’ve always been a bit "aggressive" in nature. I’m loud, sometimes obnoxious & I can be quite mouthy when it comes to things I’m passionate about. All this time I’ve been working on toning that down. In my professional life, for the most part, I keep my mouth shut & plug away patiently waiting for the next step

But why? There’s nothing wrong with being professionally aggressive. Keyword, professionally.

As of late, I’ve become comfortable in where I’m at in my career. I’m close with my coworkers, I know the drill and I’ve been striving to sell like crazy since I promoted to my role almost 2 years ago.

But why just "settle in?"

Later in the article Sheryl continues to blow my mind with her thought provoking statements. Hello, is this woman a little fairy sitting on my shoulder reading my frickin’ mind?!

"I know that in order to continue to grow & challenge myself, I have to believe in my own abilities. I (have to) face situations that I fear are beyond my qualifications."

Hello epiphany. It’s time for me to not only face those situations, but face them with confidence & believe that even when I fall on my ass, I’ll learn & be better because of it.

I need to learn to not only sit at the table, but be comfortable sitting at the head of the table.

To the ladies out there….tell me, do you sit at the table?

　

 

 

Baby Love

This weekend was full of lots of excitement & lots of baby love. For all you newbies around here, every sibling (including in laws) had babies last year. My sister in law had her first in June, my older brother had a third in October & my other older brother had his first son in November.  

Needless to say, there's lots of baby action around these parts, not including my husband and I.

At least not yet...........

 

 This little bug, I want to put her in my pocket and take her home with me. Until she has explosive diarrhea all over herself. 

 

He's a natural, ain't he? 

 

Wyatt got dedicated Sunday evening. Is he not a handsome little dude? I mean, c'mon.
Those baby blues!!

And we can't forget our little babe. 

 

And to top the weekend off....we have some other BIG news to share. 

No Ma, I'm not pregnant.

We signed the lease on our very own booth at our local antique mall!!

We're taking our show on the road and we are pumped.

We have been talking for monthsssss about doing this.

Saturday came, and  SURPRISE , we found ourselves at the antique  mall. The  owner happened to be there and a 15 minute conversation later, we pulled the trigger. 

I know I said I was taking a shopping sabbatical, so instead of clothes I bought an antique booth. 

Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend.
I flew into Providence, Rhode Island this morning however, I'll be working the whole time. 

Wah. Wah. 

Business trips. They're a total tease.  It's like vacation but with 

no vacation action happening.  

Kind of like getting felt up...over the bra. 

Oh well. 

At least The Hilton beds are nice. 

 

Linking up with Carissa @ Lowercase Letters.
Cute blog--check 'er out.

 

My Vow to Refocus

re·fo·cus 

/rēˈfōkəs/

Verb Adjust the focus of (a lens or one's eyes). Focus (attention or resources) on something new or different.

 

 

You guys.

I have a problem. 

I am obsessed with shopping. 
If I'm not physically shopping, I think about shopping.
I'm always thinking of things I want.  Keyword, want.

 I'm not being funny here, it's sick. 

This past month, it's gone to an entirely new level.

This may sound bizarre, but I love it so much I can't stand doing it.

What the HELL does that even mean?

It means that I shop so often because I love it, that now I can't stand anything about it. 
As of late, it makes me feel rotten.

 

To put things in perspective, I rationalize buying new outfits multiple times a week.

"Well.....you started your period this morning. You deserve it."

"The weather is supposed to be warm tomorrow.  Go buy yourself a new pair of flats."

"You're having friends over Friday.  That calls for a new top."

"Rodeo.  YOU MUST go buy a pair of ripped up jeans. Even though you have 25 other pairs you could rip up yourself."

"Day at the winery.  That calls for a sophisticated yet chic blazer."

"You're going to happy hour for the 3rd time this week.  New dress."

"Your at Target picking up a head of lettuce for dinner.  The clearance rack is on the way, right?" 

I've recently started shopping for nightgowns just to switch it up.  Not like sexy, titty revealing nightgowns.  We're talking long sleeved, down to my knees nightgowns.  I mean, God forbid they be sexy short so my husband can get an ass shot every now and again.

Pretty soon I'll be crawling into bed in this bad boy.

 

My point is, it's time to take a break. 

 

There are folks out there that don't know where the hell they will sleep tonight, and here I am cruisin' thru TJMaxx having a meltdown because I can't find the perfect top to wear that night. 

How selfish is that?

Instead of thinking about all that I want, I need to refocus on only what I need.  And that sure as hell isn't another damn top.

In an attempt to get a jumpstart, I'm taking a shopping sabbatical.

One month.  I vow to put down the plastic.

I vow to refocus.