Sunday, May 14, 2017

Love, Mom.

To My Gorgeous Daughters,

Today is Mothers Day.  This morning I opened my beautiful ceramic plate adorned with your purple hand print forming the petals of a painted on flower. Your baby sister's tiny footprints decorated another piece of artwork honoring me. You and your daddy made me the sweetest book, each page decorated with photos of you and I over the past couple years. We colored in your Paw Patrol coloring book, ate breakfast and all rushed off to Church.  After church, we picked out a beautiful tree that Dad planted in our front garden as you ran thru the green octopus sprinkler in the front yard.

This whole day has been spent honoring me.  Thanking me.  But the truth is, you're the one I want to thank.

Before you came into my world, I thought I was so tough.  I drove fast, I drank too much and cursed like a sailor. I never slowed down to soak in the world around me. I was selfish. I judged. And if someone hurt me, I sure as hell didn't forgive.

But then, I became I mom.

I grew you in my womb. I grew and I grew and I grew.  And then one day, at the break of dawn, I laid on an operating table scared to death.  I had my abdomen sliced open, my organs pushed around and then, I heard your cry.  In that moment, my world changed forever.



For the first time in 28 years, I had a purpose so much bigger than my egotistical self.  I had a daughter of my own.  It was now my job to teach you, but little did I know you'd teach me more in these two years than I could ever teach you.

You've taught me the true meaning of love.  Not only how to love you, but how to love others.

You've taught me empathy.

You've taught me patience, boy have you taught me patience.

You've taught me how to be selfless.  

You've taught me how to slow down, to soak in all these moments of joy.

Watching you, in your Paw Patrol hat and sparkly princess sunglasses, run thru the front yard playing in the sprinkler.  Man...these are the moments.  The joy I feel watching you grin from ear to ear is indescribable.

Everyday I spend loving you girls, teaching you, worrying about you, disciplining you, and loving you girls some more.  All in hopes that you'll grow into strong, courageous, brave young women.



But the truth is, I wasn't strong, nor brave....nor courageous before you.

You girls make me strong.

You make me brave

You make me courageous.

Someday, many years from now, you'll think you're so tough.  You'll drive fast, you'll drink too much and curse like a sailor. You'll never slow down to soak in the world around you. You'll be selfish. You'll judge. And if someone hurts you, you sure as hell won't forgive.

But then, you'll fall in love and have babies of your own.  And you'll become soft.  You'll become empathetic.  You'll learn the true meaning selflessness.

You'll do more laundry than you ever could've imagined.

You'll still drink your wine, but just a glass because you're too tired after one to even think of having another.

You'll love deeper.  You won't sweat the small stuff.  You'll forgive.

You'll be more vulnerable than you could've ever imagined. And it'll scare the hell out of you.

And maybe motherhood will break you, as it did me.  You may wake up one day and feel like you've lost your mind.  You may be scared, so so scared.  But honey, you'll be ok.  Because that little girl will give you purpose. She'll give you a reason to keep fighting.  Heck, you'll even be crazy enough to have another!



So while today is all about honoring me, sweetheart, I want to honor you.  You make me better.  You soften my tough edges, you slow me down. Every single solitary day, I thank the Lord for choosing me.  For choosing me to be your mommy.

That in itself is the best gift I'll ever, ever receive.


Love,
Mom

Monday, May 1, 2017

SJ || Five Months

Phew.  Well, that was fast.  April flew by in a whirlwind of new routines and lots of rain.  Lots and lots of rain.

As of May 3rd, I've officially been back to work for a month, and I can honestly say, I've never felt better. Yes, it's definitely hard leaving my kiddos and some days are harder than others.  However, I feel very much at peace knowing that they're in wonderful hands.  It's because of these hands that I get to take on a new career that has reignited a fire inside me that I was worried was gone.

I plan to share more details about what I'm up to professional, but for now, let's just talk all things Sadie (and Lara, of course).  This little soul is such a blessing to our chaotic world.  


Lara has had a tough, tough weekend.  She decided she hates her bed. Like, vehemently hates it.  She wants nothing to do with her bed, or really her room in general.  Saturday night was filled with lots of tears, and not just Lara's tears.  During the knock down battle that ensued with bedtime, she decided to pick up her sound machine and proceeded to bang it over and over again on the inside of her door.  All the while, Sadie snoozed away in the room next door.

I know this too shall pass, but when? 

Speaking of time passing by, how is this little one quickly approaching half a year in our lives?!?!?! 



Sadie June: By The Month

Today, Miss Sadie June is officially 5 months old!



Sadie Weighs .....13 lbs, 13 oz (34th percentile)

Sadie's Height.....24" (21st percentile)


Sadie is Wearing.....I squeeze her into my favorite 3-6 month items, but mostly 6 month and up 

Sadie is Sleeping....ON HER TUMMY.  Which totally freaked us out in the beginning, but per the doc, because her head control is so strong, we're not to be concerned.  Over the past week or so, she's been needing a bottle in the middle of the night (somewhere between 2-4:00 am). We just started doing a little cereal in her bedtime bottle and we're hoping that will do the trick.  


Sadie is Eating.....6-7 oz and still eating every 3 hours or so.  More big news on the eating front...baby girl is working on solids!  We tried peas and surprise surprise, she hated them.  And listen, I don't blame her.  When it comes to pureed peas, it's like I'm feeling my child her own diarrhea. Otherwise, just a little rice cereal.   

Sadie Loves.....being tickled in her little neck rolls.  And baths, she loves bath time.  She acts so relaxed, and that's a far cry from her sis.  She's our little water baby and I can't wait to see her test out the pool this summer!

Sadie Hates....this is always the hardest one for me to answer month after month, because she is literally the most easy going kid.  She's had a terrible, I mean terrible (like bleeding) diaper rash and that doesn't even seem to phase her.  The only time she really cries is when she's hungry. Or loud noises.  She hates anything that surprises her.


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