Oh, Baby

Talk about a cliffhanger, huh?  I disappear of the face of the earth, pop back by le blog, drop a bomb like,"hey, I'm Pregnant!" 
And then disappear again.

What a bitch.

Truth be told, I was so damn shocked, I was speechless. 

But here we are, 12 weeks into this mind blowing journey & I think it's finally starting to set in.

I'm growing a human being inside my abdomen. 

Crazy, beautiful & terrifying all at once.

I figured I'd kick myself if I didn't document this wild journey we're on, so here goes.

Let's start from beginning.

Now, do Jon & I know how babies are made.

Absolutely.

Does that mean you still don't freak the hell out when it actually happens?

Hell no.

When Sheldon got so sick last fall, it scared the hell out of all of us.  Life seemed fleeting in that moment, so we figured, hey.....let's throw all our "plans" out the window & give this a whirl. 
And bam.

It happened.

Must have been our time, I guess!

We found out on a Wednesday evening, December 18th to be exact.  I was 1 or 2 days late but that's not out of the norm for me.  Jon was working in our garage on a railing for our sidewalk.  I went up to the garage to keep him company & suddenly felt this super strong wave of nausea.  I chalked it up to the flu going around at work & just figured it was my time.  Jon was much more suspicious something was up, so he jumped in his truck & ran to the gas station for a bottle of sprite, some Pepto Bismol & two pregnancy tests. 

When he got home, I went straight to the bathroom for a pee that would change my life. 

Literally.

 (Sidenote: Only a real blogger photographs her pee stick)

60 seconds later, the faintest little plus sign appeared. 
Tears welled up in my eyes, I yelled for Jon & so began our journey.

Oh, and I puked my guts out that entire night.

The next morning we went to get a blood test to be sure and found out we were
just barely 5 weeks along.

A week later, the holidays began.  A Christmas holiday we'll never forget. 

We broke the news to both families & tears were had by all. 

I can't help but start to tear up just thinking about that week. 

Eh, probably the hormones.

Then we broke the news to Belle.  Yeah....that didn't go over so well.

Homegirl was not happy.  What, she'll have to share us with someone?  What the hell is that about?

Again, I'm sorry I left you hanging for the past 6 weeks.  

Honestly, a part of me was scared to get too excited. 
What if something happened?  What if we lost the baby?
 Did this really just happen?  What did we get ourselves into?  

I just needed some time to let this really set in, so thanks for your patience.
I treasure you all & am SO excited to finally begin sharing my journey with you!

Now, onto my first baby bump photo!

Let's talk First Trimester. 

Is it as terrible as some make it out to be?

For me, absolutely NOT.

 Have I been nauseous, at times.  Yes, I've had a handful of hard days, but not hunkered down over a toilet kind of hard day. 

Food aversions....YES.
For instance, the thought of cheese dip from a Mexican restaurant makes me want to vomit, which is just plain wrong if you ask me. 

Now, stove top stuffing & macaroni & cheese...come to mama.

I'd say the main thing I've felt over the past few months is fatigue.  If I could have an afternoon nap everyday, I'd be golden.  In fact, I'm pretty sure I've spent every weekend napping and it's been glorious. 

 In closing I'd like to share something that helped me find perspective early on in my pregnancy, a beautiful note from a beautiful friend who's now in her second pregnancy.

  When you're pregnant, it's easy to focus on the negative stuff, in fact, our society tends to only focus on the hard parts of pregnancy.  If you sit back & think about it, how often do you hear women rave about how much they loved being pregnant?  How they loved feeling nauseas, how they loved gaining weight, how they loved passing up the wine weekend after weekend.

Not often, and honestly, I think that's super sad.

I got this beautiful note from my beautiful friend on a one of my "hard" days. I was tired, cranky, feeling crappy & just plain feeling sorry for myself.  When I read her note, the tears just flowed.  In that moment, something clicked inside me & I promised right then and there to check myself.

I promised, even on the "hard" days, to always remember that the little human I'm growing inside my body is the most beautiful blessing Jon & I will ever receive. 

Her note just resonated in my core & I'd like to share a few lines.....

"You are going to get fat, really fat, but this will be the only time you will be excited about being fat, so just love being fat.  I did end up with a few stretch marks, but they remind me that I was the person responsible for making my baby girl and bringing her into this world as a healthy baby.  Those marks are a sign of my girl. With everything I'm going through with this pregnancy, I can endure anything for 9 months to get a lifetime with my babies.  The biggest thing I'm excited about for you, is that a baby really teaches you how to love."

In that moment, I realized how blessed I was to experience being pregnant. To experience bringing a baby into this world with my husband.  And for that, I'll forever be thankful.