Breast Reduction: One Year Later

I made one of the biggest decisions of my life.

 

Pun fully intended.

 

 

I got a breast reduction.

I'll never forget that morning. 
We left the house before the crack of dawn & I knew when I returned,
my tata's would be half the size.



Best feeling ever.

Growing up with enormous knockers was fun at first. I hadn't discovered booze yet, so I was super tiny with these ginormous breasts.
  
But then, I stepped on the basketball court and realized that running proved to be dangerous task.
I mean, mine could've knocked me out if I didn't strap 'em down well enough.

Needless to say, joining the track team was out of the question.

This past year has been a year of firsts. 
My first trip to Victoria's Secret.
My first (of many) 5k's.
My first time wearing a sundress with no bra!

And the list goes on & on....

But my favorite moment of this past year was when I received this email from a reader.

 

 

This is the reason I shared my journey with you.

My fears, my excitement, my pain....all of it.
I shared my journey with the hope of helping someone have the courage to take the leap &
never look back. 

I haven't heard from Cassandra since, but I'm hopeful she's enjoying a year of "firsts" as I have.

  

Running.

Let's talk about sex running today.

Since there are quite a few new faces around here, I thought I'd give you a little background on what my flabby ass has been up to over the past few months.

For some crazy ass reason, I decided I'd take on the sport of running this past April.  I signed up for a local 5k scheduled for July 28th and hit the pavement. 

Mind you, I had HUGE knockers at the time.

We're talking H.U.G.E.

I can't believe I lugged these tata's around for 26 years.  I deserve a medal.  A boobie medal. 

Well, on May 3rd, I decided to say goodbye to the knockers.  Of course I had to throw a "Breast in Peace" soiree.  Want to read about it?  Go here.

I took a month off from training and got back in the saddle on the pavement. 

I credit my success in sticking with my training to a little app that i'm sure you ALL have heard tons about:  C25K (Couch-to-five-k).  Yes, I'll spell it out for you.  Why do people just expect that everyone knows what the hell C25K means?!  It took me a damn year to figure it out.  Acronym assholes. 

If you're an iPhone owner like mwah, the app looks like this:

It eases you in, day by day, week by week.  A little voice comes on, tells you when to get running and when to walk.  I have never been so thrilled when I hear that little chime saying, 'Now...walk.' 

My review:  Love the app, but only thru week 6.  The main issue is that it takes you from ZERO to 60 within a weeks time.  See above for Week 6 Day 1.

I mean, c'mon. 

Again, I definitely recommend if you are new to the whole running thing and hate it as much as my ass does.  Download this app.  Thank me later.

Another app I have a love affair with is the MapMyRun app.  It tracks all the major details of your run so you can compare your stats from week to week.  It also has the option to share via social media sites like Facebook & Twitter.  I personally don't blast my exercise sessions all over the internet.  They're for me to see how far I've come and give myself a little pat on the back ass.

Wait, you guys don't pat yourself on the ass?

Yes, I created a folder  on my iPhone called Run Your Ass Off.  I get my motivation anywhere I can get it.

Lastly.  SHOES. SHOES. SHOES.

I cannot stress that ENOUGH.  I learned this valuable lesson from one of my favorite bloggers, Amber.  Check out her post on shoes here.  I'm too lazy to explain.

Just trust me.  Your shoes will make or break your success with training.

What tips do you all have??  I love to hear from other new runners with any great ideas you have picked up along your journey. 

One question in particular...how can I take cold water on my runs without having to lug around a water bottle??  Please do share.

It's Ok Thursday....4 Weeks Post Boob Surgery!

     

Thank the GOOD LORD almighty that it's ALREADY THURSDAY!  Man I love holiday weekends because the week after flies by.  4 day weeks.  I'll take it, bitch.

I'm linking up again with Amber & Neely for "It's ok.." Thursday.  Are you? 

--It's OK that I had to take a 4 week sebaticle from training for my upcoming 5K in order to have a breast reduction...because I realized on my first run back this past Monday, that I still GOT IT.  Boo ya.  Man, running without having the weight of a small child hanging off your body is SO much easier.  Phew.

--It's OK that I had a super weird dream that I was at my surgeons office and he had a contraption that could weigh my breasts.  One weighed 15 lbs and the other weighed 5.  Damn I'm glad i woke up because that would be one awkward looking chest.

--It's OK that our damn dryer broke. 

NOT.

--It's OK that I really should be re-painting my blue toenails right now in order to look more professional for work today.  But instead, I'm blogging.

Priorities....schi-mor-ities.  Is that a word?

--It's ok that we have watched 6 hours worth of gruesome blood battles & disturbing scenes this week due to the History's Channels "Hatfields & McCoys" movie.  Disturbing, hell yes.  But worth it, hell to the YES.

--It's OK that I watched a manly gruesome blood bath all week, because tonight is MY night to choose.  NCAA Women's College World Series.  YES PLEASE.

Did I mention I played college softball?  Damn I miss it.

--Speaking of my 'ol softball days, it's been a YEAR since I've seen a couple of my FAVORITE gals that I grew up playing ball with because....and that's ok, because I get to see their FACES ON SATURDAY!  We called ourselves "The Ruckus."  I  know, super intimidating, right?

--And lastly, IT'S OK that I signed up to bring chips & salsa for a work bbq this afternoon, however I ended up buying all the crap from the store.  I'll throw it in a set of matching bowls and pretend that it's homemade.  Don't judge. 

It's Ok Thursday: 3 Weeks POST Boob Surgery

Can you believe that it's already been THREE weeks since my reduction.  Holy.  I guess when you have small boobs, time flies.

I'm linking up again with Amber & Neely this week for "It's ok.." Thursday.  Join in the fun by hopping on over to their blogs and linking up as well!

--It's ok that I've let THREE whole weeks pass since my breast reduction surgery and haven't posted any before/after pics.  Well, it's ok...because I'm going to post a couple now! 




Before: Size G


After: Size C





--It's ok that I let my alarm go off on average of 4-5 times EVERY morning before I get my lazy ass out of bed.  I can't believe my husband hasn't divorced me.

--It's ok that sometimes I get overwhelmed at all of the successful blogs I follow and feel as if it will take FOREVER to gain a following like theirs. 

--It's ok that I am an animal before my coffee. 

--It's ok that I LOOK like an animal before my coffee.  You should see me right now.  Aaahhhh!




--It's ok that I didn't hire a web designer for my new blog design.  I may want to rip my hair out at times, or punch holes in the wall with frustration, but it's coming along and I'm frickin' proud of myself. 

--It's ok that Jessica Sanchez lost last night. 




--It's ok that my tiny little pup chews on pig ears & turkey claw bones.  Whatever makes my husband feel more manly.

--It's ok that some of my clothes hang quite loose around my boobies now that my surgeon removed 50% of them.  So. freaking. worth. it.  I'll wear baggy clothes ALL DAY long baby, just to have these  new boobs.

--it's ok that it took an entire month, 4 trips to Zales and a entirely new anniversary band. The wait was worth it.




What's ok for all of you BEAUTIFUL readers on this (the weeks almost over thank the GOOD LORD) Thursday??????

The Nail Files: With A Little Side Of Boob Talk

Yes folks, you read that right. I'm going all things nail today. No boob talk allowed.

Ok, I may slip a little boob talk in. It was only 8 days ago that I went under the knife and got some of the boobs cut off. Cut me some slack.

A couple days before surgery, I gave myself a full mani/pedi thinking it would make me feel more "put together" when I came to from the anesthesia. "Ya Anne, your toenails are going to be the FIRST thing on your mind after a life altering surgery."

Not.

Well lucky me, the night before I was scheduled to go in, I read in the instructions that I was to have NO polish on whatsoever.

Well shit.

So even though the beauty of this Essie color was short lived, it was fun while it lasted.

Until we meet again, my friend.












P.S. I'm going to Miranda Lambert tonight. I wonder what color of nail polish she's wearing....

Day Three: Post Surgery

Sore. Sore. Sore.

I think I jumped the gun on weaning off the pain meds. I woke up this morning feeling pretty rough. Jon quickly got me a pain pill & 800mg Ibuprofen. Popped those puppies and immediately iced. This was about 5:30 this morning. I was able to get back to sleep, thankfully.

When I woke up around 8:00 I was feeling much better.

I had asked the hubs yesterday if we could adventure outside the house this afternoon so I can get a mani/pedi....he agreed but only if I rested all morning. He gave me strict instructions not to do anything but rest. Sounds like a dream, eh? I have to say, it's been much harder than I thought it would be. Im getting severe cabin fever.

My life has become this...




And this.....





But my happiness with the results WAY outweighs any other complaint!! I find myself staring at the boobs in the mirror, thinking they are foreign objects that don't belong to me. I know, creepy.

On closing, the main thing ive noticed over the past 12 hours or so is how itchy I feel. I think my body is getting tired of the tape, stitches and foreign tubes hanging off of it.

HOPEFULLY ONLY 2 MORE DAYS.....,

Day 1 & 2: Post Surgery

I figure over the next few weeks, my little blog here will become all things BOOB.

So bear with me. Because as of late, I eat/sleep/dream boob, all day everyday. I'm like a man.

Also, if any of you have girlfriends out there contemplating having a breast reduction, feel free to encourage them to check out my blog.

Hopefully it's a story that will inspire others to get a reduction if it's something they've been pondering....

Day One & Two Post Surgery:
Extremely sore...however tolerable due to the ahhhmazing pain pills the doc prescribed.

My breasts are taped up around all incision marks, which include underneath both breasts and around the nipple. But otherwise I can see what they actually look like which is just crazy amazing.

I thought I would be wrapped in gauze for the first few days, so I am pleasantly surprised!

I have spent these first 24-48 hours on bed rest, propped up by lots of pillows so as to allow good drainage. I know, sounds disgusting but it's really not that bad.

Day 1: Post surgery was full of pain pills. Every 4 hours in the dot to ensure I didn't feel any pain at all.

Day 2: I have stopped all pain meds and am down to just 800mg Ibuprofen every 8 hours or do. It seems to be doing the job, just not quite as good as the pain pills were doing.

I have also been icing, ALOT. This is to help keep the swelling down.

The frozen pea ice sessions are what I look forward to the most. The cooling sensation feels great due to my soreness.

Also, the drainage tubes have to be emptied every 12 hours or so. The good news is that the drainage is starting to be less and less which makes me feel even more confident that they will come out during my post op visit on Tuesday. In order for the doc to take them out, drainage has to be below 30 cc's. So far so good! Can't wait!!!

Today (day two post surgery) I was also able to take my first shower which felt AMAZING!!! My surgeon painted this hard plastic solution all over the surgical wound sites so they are waterproof! It's amazing how far technology has come! I'm glad the surgeon we picked has been more radical than most in his techniques.

The most awkward part was the what to do with the drainage tubes during my shower. I had to safety pin then to a long lanyard that hung around my neck. Awkward yes. Worth it to have a shower. Hell yes.

In closing, I have to say how lucky I am to have such an amazing husband! From bringing me pills constantly, cooking for us, being there everytime I need help getting to the bathroom, bringing me ice packs ALL day long...and the list goes on and on. Seriously, I'm a lucky wife. I could not be more thankful for him than I am right now.

Also, my Mom has been wonderful. Today was her Birthday & Cinco De Mayo. And she spent the day taking care of me. It was fun to spend these last few hours with her...even though I feel rotten that she spent her Birthday cooped up with me! But hey, we did get to have ONE Skinny Girl Margarita as it is Cinco De Mayo after all!




Margarita & Frozen Peas: Happy Cinco De Mayo!!!!!

Brest Reduction Surgery: Check

As I lay here with my back propped up with pillows, coming down off my anesthesia high, I think to myself....I'm fucking hungry & what is with these drainage tubes.

And of course, how lucky I am to have had the opportunity to have this surgery. All thanks to a tremendously supportive husband, family and friends.
And of course, cold hard cash.
But that's another day and another story. Screw you health insurance policy.

My day began at 4:30 with no water, food OR COFFEE, so therefore no routine morning poop. Yes you read that right. I said the word poop. Don't judge.
After taking a few last minute fotos of the twins (I will not be posting those....or on second thought, maybe I will post 'em. "Newly Everything Porn" has a nice ring to it, don't 'cha think?)

And I digress.

Back to my story.

We jumped in the car around 5:15 and began the journey to the surgical center. No true jumping actually occurred because my knockers would have KNOCKED me out. No thank you.

Since it was super duper early the roads were nice and clear....but it was sure dark at that hour!




After a pitstop at McD's for the husband, we finally arrived.....




Got all checked in. Within a couple hours I was all prepped and ready for a bourbon, oh I meant anesthesia.




This foto makes me think of that rap song..."I'm sexy and I know it!"

But wait, the outfit gets better.




Bright red socks with traction slips.

By this point I was feeling totally foxy.

Now add in the compression leg wraps that look like a thigh high white cast.

J had a hard time keeping his hands off me!

Grey hospital gown, bright red granny socks and thigh high puffy leg wraps. I was a total turn on.
Around 8:30 it was go time.
A dose of the anesthesia and I was sleeping like a baby.

I came to around 1:30 and was on the way home around 3:00.
When I woke up in recovery, I was feeling like a big piece of poo. Full of nausea & topped off with a side of pain.

Luckily we had a big bottle of pain pills waiting for us at home.
Once I tossed one of those bad boys down my throat, it's been smooth sailing ever since! Knock on wood.

Mom came over and spent the evening with us which was WONDERFUL! Nothing beats having Mom around when you're feeling crappy. That should be the 11th Commandment. I'm sure Jesus would agree.

She came bearing gifts which is always fun!




A couple hours into the evening my favorite neighbor and dear friend Katy came by to check on me.....and like Mom, she came with gift in tow.




I had no idea folks brought gifts to a recovering breast reduction patient. Maybe I should notdo this more often.

As the night has dwindled down...I still can't believe this is reality. That I actually went thru with the surgery.

I have to tell you, it's a damn good reality to be a part of.

Signing off,
Full of Pain Meds & Sporting Some Great New Breasts....
Yours Truly

P.S. Hop on over and link up!

24 hours from now....

I'll be prepped for my breast reduction surgery. Wowza.

I can't believe the day is finally here...and to make this week even more stressful, I came down with a mad crazy sinus infection. I mean, what the hell. How does that happen!!??

What makes that even more scary is that they can't put you under if you have a fever...or if the infection has spread to your chest.

You better believe my ass was at the clinic Monday afternoon getting started on a Zpack of antibiotics.

The rough part is that they are just now starting to help...no workforce me today which totally stunk as I will be off for a week and a half recovering from surgery so it definitely wasn't in my plan to be off today. Blah. And I digress.

I thought I'd share a few pics from my B(Reast) In Peace party this past weekend. Hey, it was my last weekend with the big tata's, why not celebrate a little.




My handsome an amazingly supportive husband!












Best cupcakes ever!








The centerpiece foto












In closing, I have to tell you about this super easy boobie craft we came up with!
Boobs on a stick. Fun party favor & absolutely hilarious for Fotos!




The hubs helping me make them in my craft room.












All done!




What did you gain from reading this post, you ask?

You now know how to throw a successful B(Reast) in Peace party.

You're welcome.