Thursday, May 10, 2012

Things I miss...

Bending over to shave my legs.

Reaching up into cabinet to grab a wine drinking glass.

Being able to pull a shirt over my head.

Running. It hurts just thinking about it.

Being able to sit down without a disgusting look of grimace on my face.

Being able to STAND UP without looking like this.

Boo, bitch!

I miss being able to lean over the sink to wash my face.

Matter of fact, I miss being able to lean over to get closer to the mirror to....pop zits, put makeup on, tweez...

I looked in the mirror yesterday and this is what I saw. Is this Michael Jackson's daughter? if so, Michael is probably rolling over in his grave.

Being able to sleep on ANYTHING but my back.

Bending down to pick things up, like you're earring or your underwear. Underwear?

What, your underwear doesn't just fall off when you're walking down the hall?

Squatting down to urinate in inappropriate places.

This was by far one of the best gag gifts is ever received. Little did they know that I planned to use it. Haven't heard of it? Look it up.

On a brighter note, even though it will be a LONG time before I can do these things, I would rather have the rack that I do now and give up parking lot pissing sessions for a few months.

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