You know it's early when no matter how much makeup you put on you still look like you're half awake...but now with caked on clown makeup.
You know it's early when you drive thru town with your brights on and no other drivers mind. They are half asleep too.
You know it's early when you realize at 10 am that you have only one gold hoop earring in.
You know it's early when the thought of your evening glass if wine makes you nauseous because your day hasn't punched you in the face yet.
You know it's early when you come down from your coffee high by 7 am. That should be fucking illegal.
And the number one way you know it's too early is when you leave the house before you've had your routine morning bowl movement. When you get to work you think, "Oh shit." Literally.